Day twenty-five - for others

One of my all time favorite things; gift giving! I am not a huge fan of getting gifts; I never know what to ask for, which means I get asked about 100 what I want, and then everyone is irritated because I usually go buy what I want the week before Christmas, birthday, or etc.
I LOVE giving gifts! Over lunch today I went to the store to kill time. I had to get new work cloths when I started my new job and I had store cash that I needed to spend. So I went and bought cloths for Kenzie, Ali, and Tiff. Now, when I had to go buy work cloths I hated it!! But today I got to go shopping for my family, and I loved every minute of it! It makes me so happy to come home and have the girls get so excited (yes I am that dad)!!!!
I do love days like this!

Day Twenty-four - sometimes just an ear to bend

Sometimes things are just crap......... Not a lot can be changed, some things are just out of your control, and you really wish the day would end at about 9:00 am. Today was one of those days. Some days it just seems that nothing can go right, but sometimes the only good thing is that someone is there to hear about it.
Crap happens...... But that is why we have moms!
Sometimes things can not be fixed and sometimes you try your best to roll with the punches but that logic sometimes begins to fades. Don't get me wrong, my wife is there for me through everything but sometimes that 3 year old in you just wants to call out for you Mommy :)
The great part about this logic when you get older though is, you get the chance to be there for your parents too! But in this situation I have to say, today was a strictly silver lining day; the day sucked, but at least my mom was there to just listen and help realize the bigger picture!
Thanks Mom!!!

Day twenty-three - so here it is

Another sick day, on a Monday......... Not a good start to the week. I do not have  a lot that is great on a day like today, but through all the crap there is still my wife. She is there for me and has been for a very long time. There is a THOUSAND things I could say but I can sum it up within one poem (thank you E.E. Cummings)

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                      i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

I love you!

Day twenty-two - my baby girls 4th birthday party

So today was crazy but a good day overall! Four year old birthday parties are NUTS but behind all the crazy is the act that my daughter has gotten old enough to have a "big girl"  birthday party.
This was not a party for the family and the adults this time. She had 10 little friends over and they played like crazy people for over 2 hours. It looked like something exploded in our house, something filled with everything pink exploded!
Now that is not the good, the good is that my daughter is four and having her first big girl birthday party. In a world where there is so much bad in the world, every year is a blessing. That is true for little girls as well as for us adults. Each year, or month, or day that goes by that we are all still together is a blessing. So to share a day like this is just a better day than usual, but every day should be seen in the same light, blissful!

Day twenty-one - A dad and his babies

So the downside for the day - my wife had to spend the entire day at a conference.
The upside of the day - me and my girls got to spend the entire day together, just us!
Me and do not ge many days to spend as just the three of us. Now do not get me wrong, I love the weekends that we all spend together, but it is nice to spend some time as just the three of us. The dynamic changes when it is just us. They spend all day, every day with her so they have a tendency to see her more as a "get me this", "I want this", "I need this"! Not to say they do not do that to me too but it is just a little different when it is just us.
We started the day off with toast and 3 hours of top twenty on CMT. We played it loud, we sang, and we danced (really bad I might add) through the whole thing. While Ali took her nap Kenzie and I played memory ........ F-o-r-e-v-e-r! We also watch a movie. Kenzie was surprised that I found a movie for the both of us, a non-dead movie ( her words)   :) when Ali got up we dinked around a little more.
I love my time with my little girls, it reminds me of how much I LOVE being a dad!

Day twenty - Friday!!!!

Easy one today. FRIDAY!!!!!!
It is one of those things, that no matter how crappy a day is, the fact that it is Friday makes all the problems seem so small! So here is how it went:
I went back to work after 2 days of being sick so getting back in the grove makes the morning tough
I did not really get anywhere throughout the day with any of my clients
They wanted me to make up all the work that I missed (aka 3 new clients in one day)
Money problems, money problems, money problems, and on, and on.........
The girls were both in crappy moods
And these are the highlights

Now I know this is not sounding like I am looking for the good in the day, but no matter if I added 30 more things to this list they all just fade away. It was Friday, one of the best days of the week! The weekend is great but Friday, Friday is the best. You had to work but when 5:00 rolls around that means we are just a the VERY start of the weekend, we have the whole night to look forward to our 2 days off!!! Saturday is full of task that have been put off for the week, and Sunday you spend have the day just thinking that Monday is coming ( but way excited that The Walking Dead is on at night ).   But Friday, Friday is to adults as Christmas morning is to kids. We are excited to see what is in store for us, we can not wait too do all the things that we knew were coming, and we love the fact that, even if it was not expected, it is usually a good!
Ya for the day of Friday!!!

Day nineteen - family

So not as late as the last but still late. This one is going to be another important one but short too, it is pretty self explanatory. My family is awesome! :)
So here is the run down:
My baby sister, Kaity - My sister is one of the craziest little person I know! She likes to listen to classical music as well as CD's all about moose! My baby sister I is now nine, so not much of baby anymore, but she will be the baby for ever.
My older baby sister, Annagrace - I have never known an older child in my life. My sisters were born when I was 16 and 18 years old, respectfully. So really both of my sisters are my baby sisters, but they are really two different people. Anna has seemed like she was a wise woman behind those big blue eyes since about two- years-old. Sometimes, when she talks, she seems like she is the oldest! She is now 12 years old, and LIKE REALLY becoming a teenager, but she is still one of the most amazing people I know!
My baby brother, Mitch - so DEFINITELY not a baby! 19, and his first year in college, not a baby. But he is the youngest of us 4 boys so he fits the bill of the baby brother. I have a problem with babying my younger siblings and that does not help when I am the oldest! He is the coolest little brother I have known.
One of the middle guys, Seth - Seth, Anna, and I all have the same problem, we are too much alike! Anna and I are far enough apart that it seems cute, Seth and I are just enough apart but close enough together that he seemed to always coming into a certain phase as i was coming out of it. Growing up it always seemed to be difficult. Now I do have to commend him, he is one of the bravest person I know. I believe he has lived in about roughly 13 states in 4 - 5 years now, Hawaii being the most difficult to get too. He did door to door sales for a lot of that time as well. He has done some of the bravest things I have seen, things I would never dream of doing.
Before there was three there was two, me and Zach - so Zach does not come without his bravery as well. Zach has been married, bought a house, adopted his wife's daughter, and now they are pregnant with their second. Like I said, bravery! Zach is the next one down after me and we were  very much partners in crime. I take that back, a little, when Zach and I were not partners in crime then Seth and Zach were. But when it comes to Zach, I can not but feeling like a proud big brother every time he does something. I hope he never looks at it like I am patronizing him, but I can't help but feel like a proud person with every new step he takes. I can not help it, he is my baby brother ;)
And my only oldest sibling, my sister- in-law V (she also goes by Veronica) - so I have the best sister-in-law ever! When I met her I knew we were going to be be friends, but more importantly I knew she was going to be the one for my brother! She is amazing and one of the strongest people I have ever known. I am so happy that my brother found someone so amazing and I am glad that I can call her part of the family!
My mom, Kandes - this is the strongest woman I have ever met! My mom raised four boys by herself for years then married the best man I can now call Dad. My mom is one of those people that you don't know how people get through the hard things in life and yet you see her hold her head up high and knock down one thing that comes her way after another. The thing that is great about growing up is that, if you have the most awesome parents like I do, your parents go from being just your parents to being some of the best friends you can have.
M dad, Dean - so, yes he is my step-father, but he is the greatest Dad around. Don't get me wrong we started off a little rocky. I was a 14 year old boy and my mom was getting remarried. Needless to say I was a little on the attitude side. We did start off on a rocky point but I can gladly say that Dad is one of my best friends! H is the most up front and caring people I have ever met. When my parents divorced at 10, I thought everything was over. When I look back it was one of the best thing that ever happened, without it I would have never been able to have a dad that cares about me, my mom, and my siblings the way that Dean does.
So not so short but very important! I love them and I love how they care about me and my family.

Day eighteen - hard to find but it is there

Now I am way late, I need to make sure this does not become a habit! I have a good reason; a) I was sick all day and b) it is hard to find any good in a day when you feel that crappy! Regardless of that, there is good in every day, I need to be looking at that. The good of the day: it was extremely considerate of my boss to care about how I felt and to not make it into a big thing that I had to be gone for the day.
I know, it is a little crazy that I see that as such a positive, but it something I have not seen for a long time. To be treated with respect and dignity goes a long way. I have been pretty sick for awhile now and stress is a large problem that causes it to be worse. It was very hard to deal with before since when I had to be gone due to my symptoms then, it just caused my stress to be worse, which then caused my symptoms to be worse. This was a vicious cycle for a long time. The stress came from the fact that when I returned to work, even though I was covered for the time gone, we had to have "a talk" about my absentness (made up word but I like it). I knew these conversations would happen and it would just make the issue worse.
To be somewhere that was concerned, wanted me to go home to get better, and then wanted to see if there is anything they could do when I returned was something I have not seen. This sickness has been a huge issue this year, it has not been an easy thing to deal with. Between the sickness itself on me, but the toll it has taken on my family, and on top of that the medical bills that it has racked up has caused it to seem a little overwhelming. To be sick again now, when I just started a new job, I was terrified! To be treated with this much respect was a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders! I felt, for the past year with this problem, I thought I was going to be dealing with what I had been dealing with for the rest of my life. I am so happy that I was able to find out that not everyone treats people the way that I had been treated, people out there can and will be respectful and caring about what you are having to go through. That is my silver lining on a really crappy day (it is a pretty amazing silver lining though)!

Day seventeen - it was not all bad

I have said in the past that I started a new job a few weeks ago. There were some really crappy things that happened over this year. I know I focused a lot on those really crappy things that have happened this year too. With my medical condition my negative thinking made just made it worse. Accusations and betrayals made it seem like it was all for not. I had worked hard, put in a lot of hours, and sacrificed a lot of time with my family and it all fell apart in 6 months, it was really hard not to look at it like my sacrifices we for nothing.
A really good friend made me think of what that seven years really meant. That seven years first meant met my best friend. Without that job I would have never met her and in turn never met the whole group we hang out with. The years we worked together, the Saturdays that were MISERABLE due to a GREAT Friday night, the fun I had since I was a morning person and she was not, and etc., and etc.. It was great that I found someone that I can get along with so well, even more so sine we were starting over in new town.
I learned a lot over those seven years. I was 20 when I started and was just a kid, I was taught well by some of the greatest co workers that I had. Not only did I learn a lot from those that I worked along side with but also those that I worked with that reported to me. The biggest thing of all is teamwork. Some of those people I worked with have really made me see how much I enjoy the work with others, they have my back and I had theirs. I loved it.
I also loved that some of those that I worked with went from being co workers, to strong people that I respected, to amazing friends. Some did not end so great but some did not end, because these types of friendships don't ever end. I love that I found so many great people at one job. People that I could relate with, people I could get along with so well, people that I could call great friends, people I could SWOT with :) .
Though something ended bad it is not the exclamation point on the entire experience, it is just the end, that is all. There is a lot of great things that happened in seven years, and I thank all of those that helped make those seven years great!

Day sixteen - those that help others

So I do not have a long one for today, but it is short yet important.
I have started a new job just a few weeks ago. After working at the same place for seven years it is a little unnerving to start again.
It has been a huge help that, even in a commission based world, there is co-worker that is coming in early to have a class for those of us that have just recently started. It is amazing that someone is willing to take time out of his day to teach those of us that are not as fluent in this new position.
Thank you to those that look out for others. You can never overlook someone like that!
Like I said, short but important!

Day fifteen - Something most people won't say

Sorry about the lateness, but I have a really good reason. It is also my positive point that is why I am a day late on my Sunday post.
It was not really a overly important day, it was a typical lazy Sunday. We did not have anything to do so I pretty much lounged around. So all of this and I did not post, so what is my reason? I am just going to say what most think but do not often say........ I love TV! :)
I know, I know, not the most amazing positive..... But I do.
So here is the thing, we have our shows that we watch, and I know it is sad, but we kinda get a little to excited for our shows to come on. Sunday night=The Walking Dead. My wife said it perfectly, "I get excited for this show to come on around Tuesday". We have our shows that we watch religiously, right now it really Supernatural, Chelsea Lately, and The Walking Dead. Now that is our shows that we make sure we catch when they are on. We have our other shows that we we buy the the seasons of, such as ER.
When it comes to seasons of shows, that is where Tiff and I differ. I can have a TV show that I don't really know or can even care for, but if it is on for the day as a marathon, I can not take myself away from it. Also, we could have seen the same season of something 12times, that does not mean that I won't sit and watch it, or that I won't buy the seasons when they come out as a box set. HA! I told you at the start of this that it was sad, but I can not lie, it makes me happy.
I think it is genetic too. I will call home at night and I have to call back in an hour because "I called in the middle of Dancing With The Stars!!" I can not judge though, at least my mom answers the phone.
Anyway, I have my Monday post to write. :)

Day fourteen - good friends

Today I was reminded of one of the greatest parts of  life, great friends.
In 2003 my wife and I move to Waterloo from our home town. We moved for school and it was just the two of us, we knew no one in the area. I started a new job the day after we moved here and I will tell you what, that "first day of school" feeling never seems to go away. I sat in a training class listening to the people talk about how they knew this person, or how they were referred by this friend.  It just made my anxiety worse thinking that this was not where I was going to find any new friends, it sounded like these people were already well imbedded into their social settings.
To back this up a little bit you need to know that, in terms of friends, Tiff and I were not fond of this "starting over" feeling. We had the same friends, best friends, for a very long time. Now don't get me wrong, they are still some of the best friends we have! They have been there for us when others had let us down, they were the ones who watched stupid movies with us while sitting around eating frozen pizzas and Popsicles with, and the ones that were there with us when we were just fiends, to dating, to engaged, and then to married. We had been very blessed for the friends that we had, and starting over did not sound like fun.
Now we were in a new town, not a friend in sight, and feeling a little "out in the cold" I guess you could say. We did not stay that way for long though, we found our "gang" (I know, using the word gang makes me lose points fast but I did not know what else to say). So here is to them;
For the nights that we laughed so hard (usually over something not really all that funny) I did not know if I was going to stop
For the days spent on the river
For the nights that most of us can not even remember
For A LOT of 1/2 off Thursday nights
For showing us the errors in our way by buying furniture already put together ;)
For being there when you just needed someone to complain too
For trying to teach us a game for the past 7 years (and we still do not know how to play)
For being there for our kids
For being there for us

You have made our lives a better every single day. Thank you........ Gang........... :)

Day Thirteen - Not a hard day to find the good

Not a hard day to find the good at all. My baby turned four today! I can not believe she is already so old. THIS IS ONE FOURTH OF THE WAY TO 16!!!!!! Granted she, on days, has the attitude of a 16 year old. I love her and my life changed so much since the day she was born. That weekend was a crazy weekend!
Like any crazy soon-to-be father I did not see what the big deal was to going out on Halloween when my wife is 9 months pregnant and due in five days, so like a crazy I dragged her out on Friday night.  We stayed out way too late with my pregnant wife too. That night, after we got home, Tiff moved to the other bed in the house. I figured she moved to the just to being uncomfortable. I had to work the next morning and I got a call while I was at work from tiff, she was having contractions. My thought "WE ARE CLOSE"........ Yea right..... All that rest of the day we walked, and walked, and walked, and on, and on, and on! Tiff was having contractions all day and then all into the night and that translated into no sleep for either of us! On Sunday morning, early, we finally decided to go to the hospital. When we got there we almost got sent home. I thought when the nurse said that we might have to go home I thought Tiffs head was going to spin around, but you know what we did, we walked........ The only difference this time was that it was around a OB ward, and not a big one either. After 2 hours of walking they did finally admit her. After awhile all of our family showed up, but not Mackenzie, yet.
 At about 2:00 pm they finally said that Tiff could start pushing. Now Kenzie was not the type of kid that comes out in three pushes. Tiff pushed for two hours and forty five minutes. I was trying to help and be supportive but I kept getting those "shut the heck up" looks (later realized that those were just "get this child out of me" looks). At 4:45 pm my baby girl was born.
She is my little bird, my second love of my life, my little Tiff, my little me, my little dance partner, my tv buddy, my other nurse, and my little everything. I am so happy she entered my life and could not imagine my life without her. I am thankful for that little girl every day of my life.

Day twelve - post bed time

DO NOT GET ME WRONG HERE!!! I love my kids, I miss them all of the day, and I love walking in the door and being rushed by small people every day. However, I love the time when it is just me and my wife for a few hours after the girls have gone to bed.
Tonight it just happens to be the CMA's that we are watching. I will tell you what, and I do not care, I know I have the musical likings of a 12 year old. I love sitting here watching everyone sing; Taylor, Carrie, Hunter, Kenny, the Band Perry, And little big town and if you are asking yourself, yes, we are on a first name basis! I love this time. A lot of the time this time is spent watching bad tv or ER or Friends ( I know, I already told you this part, I am getting to it!!!!!)
Regardless of what we are doing, I love this time with my wife. This time, like tonight, is my wife looking at me annoyed because I am finding myself HILARIOUS and talking about my secret marriage to Carrie Underwood! Other nights it is figuring out which ER episode s this and what happens during it ( we have seen them like 12 times). And some nights were like last night, where we just sat around and talked for a couple of hours.
Whatever the situation it may be, I love the time that I get tiff all to myself! For a couple years tiff and I seemed to never see each other, between our work schedules. Then it turned to us being together A LOT when Kenzie was a baby. But now with a toddler and an infant, we are in close proximity to each other, but our talk is mostly controlled by our 3 year old. So this time is very special to two tired parents.
So this one is to my wife, I love the time we spend as just us! 'Nuf said