Day eleven - gotta love a lived in house

So most people who want to be polite would say that our house looks "lived in".  That would be the polite way to say "have you not cleaned your house since you moved in?" This one is probably going to be short and sweet..... I love my house, regardless of how it looks, even more when it is like this!
On a day like today, where it was crazy from start to finish for Tiff, the house can get a little crazy looking. To top it off Tiff always feels the need to apologize for it, which is highly unnecessary. We both grew up in big family, so "lived in" houses kinda come with the territory. It kinda makes me laugh when she tries to apologize for it. Here are the two things that would cause me to have a problem with it; wet or sticky!!!!!!!!
Our house has a tendency to be a mess but that is all it is, a mess. To clean it does not take that long due to it being mostly just stuff. However wet and/or sticky, gross! I am happy to report that our house is never either. Our house may get messy so I have two options when I get home; pick it up or stepover the   toys, take the laundry off of the couch, put the pillows back on the couch, and let the kids continue to help make the house look more "lived in" and there is NOTHING wrong with that!
Thirsty Thursday tomorrow.......

Day ten - Late but for the great reason

I'm a day late on my day ten post but it was for a great reason! I usually post later in the day which usually good for me but not last night. Ali went down at seven, Kenzie went down at seven thirty, and I did not stay awake past eight thirty. I feel asleep on the couch so I got about ten hours of sleep, and I love sleep!
I do not know why but it seems to me, and most people that I talk too, that there is a very large problem with kids and grown up rules. Why does the child, who runs around like a madman from morning til night, gets to nap during the day when the adults, who can somehow wake up tired, do not get a nap?!?  Also there are times where you are putting your kids down for a nap and they fight it the whole way and all you want to say to them is "I want you to take a nap so I can!" :) . I feel there should be built in nap time for adult life too, not just kindergarten, but I do not think I am gonna find many employers to go with me on that one. Yesterday felt this, more so than usual. By five I was ready to go to bed!
The other problem we run into is that EVERY week my wife and I talk about how we need to start going to bed earlier. We talk about how we both feel tired often and that one thing to help would be going to bed earlier. However, when the week roles around, we are staying up until eleven or midnight. Are we doing anything important or necessary, NOPE! We are sitting around watching bad b list horror movies, bad tv, or DVD sets of ER or Friends. Not a horrible way to spend an evening but not a great on for staying up so late when Tiffs work starts around six and mine starts at eight! We could go to bed early every single night and every single night it is to bed at eleven or twelve......
So that is why last night was so great, sleep, Sleep, SLEEP!!! I felt great this morning and the day went by so much better than when I get my five and 1/2 hours worth of sleep. So I think Tiff and I should go to bed at that time every night............. Yea right :)

Day nine - Monday

So today was a Monday. Everything seems just a little off and a little wrong. Monday is just Monday.......... For some reason everything seems just a little more aggravating, upsetting, annoying, bothersome, etc. etc. etc.
I strongly dislike days like today because nothing is really wrong but everything just seems a little wrong. I hate the vagueness of it all. I dislike it because I know it is just a dwelling feeling, because nothing really upsetting or bad just happened, it is just "the Mondays". I hate that saying but it just seemed to fit today. I was busy today, which is good and makes the day USUALLY go by fast, it did not. I know this is sounding more depressing then usually but unfortunately it is harder to see the positive on days like today.
So here is the thing - it was harder to see the positive in the day but, like I said a couple post ago, this post makes it a lot easier to find the positive on a day like today.
Part one- Ali was a daddy's girl tonight. She kept wanting hugs and to top it off she wanted me to put her to bed tonight. Very rare but love it!
Part two- I did have a deal close today. I was one that another employee had to do some work for me on it. Now this might sound like a negative, but I was able to split the commission with her. I am one that feels what goes around comes around. To take 100% of the commission when I did not do all the work did not feel right ,so I was happy that I was able to split the pay with her. Being friends with karma is always good.
Part three- I wax able to change my schedule. I has been great to go in at 9 am every morning but Ali does not wake up until around 8/8:30 in the morning and goes to bed around 6 so I have not been able to see much of my baby. Changing my schedule will get me home an hour early. I will get to see my baby a little more every day. This is the best part of the day.
So to wrap it up, days can seem pretty crappy overall, but break it down, focus on the great parts of the day, and "the Mondays" will not seem all that bad.
Talk tomorrow.....

Day eight - Not having much to post is not always bad

So not mutch to say for today. Sunday's have a tendency to fall under the category of, not much going on, but still a little crazy. I think it comes from the four of us being couped in the house most of the day. Ali is in a " I need mom all the time" phase, which translates into a lot of tears and tantrums when Tiff does things such as taking a shower:) . When it gets cold out, and we wind up all staying in the house all day, I think our own little crazy comes out in each of us. Kenzie more than the rest of us. Nothing like keeping a feisty four year old inside all day. By days end all she is doing is running laps around the house.
I guess this is the joy of living in the Midwest. This is just preview of what is to come through the end of fall, all of winter, and the start of spring..... :(. Small children just do not transition into the fall lifestyle as quickly as adults. Before having kids, on a cold day like today, you snuggle in, find bad movies to watch, and eat soup. Things are a little different with kids though. I thin, that their anthem that runs through their heads throughout the day is " ENTERTAIN ME, ENTERTAIN ME, ENTERAIN ME....."!
On top of it our house is not exactly set up the best for kids playing and maintaing a clean and organized house. By the end of Sunday it kinda looks like a tornado went through the house or a large  toy bomb exploded. At the end of Sunday night the routine usually goes like this; find all the toys that are still talking and making noise and shut them off, hunt through the furniture to reclaim all of the remotes, get all the pillows back on the couches, and get any dishes back in the kitchen where they belong. Trying to reclaim the house from the kids before they start it all over tomorrow morning.
Here is the thing, a day like today can be one of the more perfect days in life. We have a tendency to try and fill our day to make it seem like an "accomplished" day. Today was a day where we really had nothing going on and it could not have been better. No running around trying to get ready for much, no scrambling to try and get the house together for guest, just nothing. Hanging out, messing around, and having some fun with the fam, just us. Relaxing days have changed since having kids but in a lot ways it has changed for the better. They are not just relaxing days, but fun/funny too. Ali unloading Tiff's purse, handing me each item, and saying "tank oooo", Kenzie changing her clothes into different costumes saying "no, this is what I am going to be for Halloween", Ali going missing only to find her hanging out in the dog kennel with Snoofy (I know, crazy dogs name, but we let Kenz name her without giving her options, BAD plan), and other random small things throughout the day. Sometimes when you think back on the day you can not help but feel that somehow you are a sitcom that someone is watching and you just have to laugh at how your day went.
I love days like this more than anything. Vacations are great, small getaways are fun, but nothing beats a day at home with your crazy little family. I thank them for that more than anything they could ever give to me!
Tomorrow is Monday, think of the positives! Until then!

Day seven - One week down

So one week has passed since I started this. Only one week and this has already changed how I look at things day to day.
As days go buy it is really easy to, at the end of the day, stack up all the crap that happened throughout the day and classify that as "the day". Little things begin to look like bigger things and the big things become overwhelming. Some parts of my life had not been great for awhile now, others have been great, I just have not been taking the time to look at the finer parts of life. Instead, as in true AJ Johnson fashion, I dwell. I have not only turned it into a hobby, but a fine art! I can make things that are " no big thang" into something.
For example, I did it to myself two days ago. I had an issue at work, I take that back, it was not an issue, I made it an issue in my head. A contract I was working on had a hiccup. My manager smoothed it out quickly. I was appalled with myself that I potentially lost a client, found where the issue was, and tried to explain myself to my manager as to show what had gone awry. My manager looked at me after I was all done and just said "don't worry about it, it is taken care of, just get out there and do your thing". Think I let it go........ Not a frick'n chance! I dwelled. I would not let it out of my mind, kept going over how I might have really screwed something up.
I tell you that, to tell you this. When I come home and write this, it all goes away! Not only does it go away, but it really makes me take the time to look at the good in the day. That was the same day I had two contracts signed. That is what I thought about, that is what I had to put my focus on because I knew that I had this to write that night. My dwelling, all of a sudden, was a lot less than it has EVER been in my life.
In one week this has changed how my day to day works. At first it was "I have to find something good to write about tonight" and in just a few short days I was seeing the good and could not wait to write about it that night. In one week this has already changed how I look at how my days pan out, I see the good more often, I can see how things are better than I instinctively try to make them out to be, and I feel happier now than I have in a while. I am starting to feel like I did a few years ago, and I love it. I thank god that I have started this and you can expect a lot more, at least 358 days worth ;)
Tomorrow......

Day six - Little wins

So today's post is not gonna be a long one. My day, on the count of one to ten in pain, was about a seven. The day was just generally, in fancy terms, was "crappy". It was about impossible to get out of bed this morning, just wiped out. I simply wanted to sleep the day away. I wa sick most of the day, I could hardly stay at my desk most of the day. This, as usually just stresses me out and makes me feel worse. I felt like I was running 2 steps behind all day. Today was just one of parts of a new job that you dislike, feeling like you just have to learn everything at once and the puzzle pieces just do not seem to all fit right. So this is how I am going to look at this day.
- I got to have lunch with a great friend
- it is now the weekend
- my wife has a drink in her hand, I have one in mine, a ER is on
Like I said, little wins, gotta count what you can get right? And another day ends.......

Day five - money is not everything.... But it sure is nice!

So the intent of this whole project is not to just air our dirty laundry, but lets just face the facts, our money has been funtastic this year!
To start it off, as I discussed in the last post, medical stuff has been a big part of the last couple of years. With medical "stuff" comes medical bills, and they are not cheap! With Dr visits, medications, tests, procedures, and now Iowa city visits and test there have caused us to rack up a pretty penny! When all the medical stuff started to happen this year, and the bills started racking up, we had not yet paid off everything from my leg injury. To top it all off we had not paid the medical bills for when we had Ali either, and there is no return policy on that ;) LOL!
It is not just the medical bills that cause an issue. With being sick, time away from work cost too. For every hour I was not at work was an hour I was not being paid for. Also, in the commission world, it also cost new set ups. With my medical problem stress causes the problem to worsen. So, to show as this wheel goes round; I would get sick and have to miss work, I would stress over the fact that I was not working, then start feeling worse and worse, and just miss the next day, and the cycle continued.....
Here is what all this leads up to. I have been able to support my family on just my income for years now. For all this to happen which put my family in a financial bind has been a very sad place to be. I was doing it, I was keeping us secure, and it all fell to crap.
Today, about an hour into work, my first account agreeded AND signed today. I said something a couple days ago that I had a couple accounts agree, but never heard anything back, this one signed! Nothing big, nothing grand, but it was like 50 pounds was lifted off of my shoulders. Again, nothing big, but it made me feel safe and secure again. Now I did not make enough for my family to move to the islands and live comfortably in a bungalow on the beach for the rest of our lives, but hey, it is a start. A good day, lets push for another one tomorrow. Until then.........

Day four - when it medically rains, it medically hurricanes!

So here is how my last two years have been playing out, medically at least.
At the start of last year I broke my leg in three places. I fell down some stairs and it was one of those things that, the second I hit the ground, I knew it was broken. It took 9 screws, 2 pins, a steel rod ( and a partridge in a pear tree) to fix the damage. I was bed rested for 5 weeks, in a wheelchair for 3 months ( with a cast that entire time), then had to do physical therapy and where a walking cast for 5 months after that.
This year I have been dealing with some very serious medical problems. Unfortunately the larger problem has not been the medical problems but rather the doctors who are "helping" me with these problems. I have seen 7 doctors since January and have run a massive amount of test, the real cheap ones ;). They have diagnosed me with a chronic disorder, and diagnosed me 95% of the way on about  4 other things...... Everyone is saying something different. This ordeal has taken a large toll on my moral, attitude, etc in not a very good place.
Sometimes these things get to you to not a very positive place. You feel like "why me"? Unfortunately it puts you in a place where you start thinking very egocentric, like why does it seem like this crap just won't quit, or why does it seem like we have more problems than anyone else we know, or any other absurd thought that really translates into self pity.
The reason I tell this tale of woe is that my dad has been getting sick over the past couple of months and they can not find out what is causing it. He had been airlifted to Des Moines and stayed a few days, a few months later he had to go to the hospital for the same problem, ran test (cheap ones like mine) to try to find out what was wrong with nothing found, and last night he had the same problem and had to do an overnight stay at the hospital. He had to use his epinephrine pin, which had no affect, then they had to load him with Benadryl and other medications, and then his oxygen dropped so low they had to put him on a rebreather.
Again, another tale of woe, not the positive spin I am supposed to be talking about but it is coming, I promise! Here it is:
                     This is a lot going on in one family but somehow my family is still making it and working harder together than ever. Everyone is checking on everyone, we call and texting to make sure all is going well, and trying to see each other more. I am realizing that sometime life has to go this way to make a family stronger and refocused. Family matter, first and foremost! This family will work through all of this and be stronger at the other end. Now I have said "the family" enough to sound like we are part of the Mofia so I am gonna leave it with this: I love and deeply care about my dad, my mom, my three brothers, my sister-in-law, my sisters, my wife, my daughters, my niece, and my soon-to-be nephew, and I know they all feel the same about me!

Day three - silver lining, silver lining...

So today, not great...... It went south very fast
My morning started with me leaving for the day and stepping in dog poop, while trying to get that off of my shoe I stepped in a different pile with my OTHER shoe, I left my breakfast and my keys in my car, and to top it off I left my lights on.... I knew at this moment it was going to be a day that I was going to have to look for the silver lining throughout the day.

My deals that were going to come through today fell apart at "the last play of the game". Not for any reason, they just did not seem to come through.
So silver lining - my boss worked REALLY hard to make them happen so I am thankful that she is trying to help anyway she can.

Surprise, surprise in this house, I tripped on a toy the other day and I fell flat on my face. In the process of the fall cut my foot open. I told Kenzie that she needed to start doing a better job of picking up her toys because Daddy only has one good leg left :). Since I broke my leg 2 years ago my  left ankle still swells up, right now more than normal due to the change in weather. My cut from the toy cash register happened to my right foot. So this cut has been hurting pretty bad for days now. My left ankle is swollen and the bottom of my right foot hurts enough that it hurts to walk so combined that pretty much sucks!
So silver lining - when you having one of those types of days stupid little stuff like this for some reason seams important, IT IS NOT. When thinking about it when it is running through your head, you realize how ridiculous it is that something like this is affecting your mindset.

I got home today and all THREE girls were sitting in the corner by the computer crying! LOL! Kenzie wanted a snack, Ali was crying because Tiff was trying to help Kenzie, and Tiff because of the other two. AWESOME!
Silver lining - no matter how crazy, I was home with the girls that love. I love them, I miss them when I am not here, and I want to be part of this craziness every second I get!

Day two - A pretty good day at work and a great night at home

Not a bad day overall. I just recently started a new job (just last Monday) and trying to hit the ground running is not the easiest thing to do. I know they say you are your own worst critic and I know that I hold that mantra through and through. I have a bad habit of thinking I need to do everything perfectly, immediately. I was in training for 3 days and have only been on the phones Thursday, Friday, and today yet I have a hard time getting it out of my head that I should already be showing up the other employees. I know, overshooting, but that is just how I wind up thinking.
As the day progressed on I was starting down my usual mindset. As each hour passed and with no positive result I was slowly, yet surely, beating myself up. Towards the end of my day I was pretty frustrated.
Now, to back up a little, I talked to someone on Friday and thought I was getting somewhere. I talked to the guy for about 45 minutes, my supervisor talked to him for 45 minutes, and  then her boss talked for about an hour only to then find it was someone else's account. Not a happy moment.
Part 1 of my good day was that karma was my friend today. My supervisor had to go take a call on the other part of the floor. When she came back she said that call was for one of my accounts that another person called. It was actually the person that got my Friday account. A nice "you scratch my back I scratch yours" moment.
Part 2 of my good day was that in my last 1/2 hour, my next call after my boss told me about the call she took, I got my first account who is gonna sign. Granted, it is a reoccurring account, but hey, silver lining right!
When I get home my day really took off in a good way. Since I started this new job Ali has been asleep every night by the time I get home, not tonight!! My baby was wide awake, granted screaming her head off, but awake :)! Kenzie came over and just WANTED to be tickled!?!? Whatever, time spent is time spent, whatever we may be doing together!
So another day, and plenty to be happy about. Now to finish my day off with re-runs of ER. Talk tomorrow........

Day one - not a hard day to find the good

So day one, mostly a normal day in the Johnson household. Ali, my youngest, has been playing up in her room for the past hour or so now. About every five to ten minutes or so you can hear something loud hit the floor. What that means is that when my wife or I go upstairs you will see more clothes, blankets, toys, and etc on the floor than actual floor.
 To top off the clothes on the floor issue my oldest daughter, Kenzie, has changed her clothes about ten to eleven times already today. No reason, her other ones are not dirty, wet, or have any other problem but rather, just because. Every time she goes upstairs she comes down in something new. My favorite part is that some of these outfits include headbands, but do you think she wears them normal, not a chance. She wears them so that the  headband goes over the back side of her head. My fear is that this headband thing is going to last for years, she will wear it this way to school, and soon this ridiculousness will turn into a "look". That would be just how this would turn out.
The easy "good" to find in this day was not hard to see at all. Last night I worked on my Christmas present for my parents while Kenzie watched. She had been a chatterbox all day but while she watched my work see was very quite. This morning Kenzie asked if she could use my paints. This conversation taking place while I am trying to take a shower, of course. I told her that we can use them when I get done. When I came downstairs I assumed that she wanted to paint on blank pieces of paper like she has in the past, this was not the case. I had a 2 foot by 3 foot canvas sitting under my easel, my last blank canvas, and that is what she wanted to paint on. What made it special is not that she wanted to use my last canvas but that she told me "she wanted to paint just like I did because she always likes the paintings that I paint and she wanted to paint just as good so she needed to use the same paper that I paint on".
Now with that being said both my children are upstairs screaming as Tiff tries to give them a bath so I should probably go help. Until tomorrow......